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Coming Back to Oneself
In a recent episode of EZ Conversations, I spoke with Hilary Momberger Powers. Hilary shared her childhood traumas from being put into acting at an early age so she could live out her mother’s dream. While on the surface, there was the glamour of being a child actress, it came with abuse and shame.
Hilary chose to run as her coping mechanism, but she could not run from herself. In her running, she chose substances and toxic relationships. Yet it was when she turned back toward herself that she realized where healing needed to take place. Not only did she take responsibility for her choices, but she also took responsibility for the work she needed to do on herself—unconditionally.
Her mantra became that we do not need to lead with our wounds.
That may seem simple, but it is an invitation to anyone who finds themselves buried in pain and shame.
As I reflected on my conversation with Hilary, I noticed a common theme emerging from many of my client sessions. The theme was shame—something I have explored before—but in this context it showed up differently. What I was hearing was a constant need to appease the world and to fit in.
Sadly, that has become the focus for many people. In the process of trying to fit in, we slowly abandon ourselves.
And that abandonment often becomes the very source of our pain.
Part of healing is giving ourselves the love and acceptance we may have never received. That does not happen by rejecting parts of ourselves to satisfy the expectations of others. Healing begins when we turn inward and begin reconnecting with who we actually are.
Coming back to oneself means turning inward when things around us feel chaotic or confusing. It is the willingness to pause and ask: What is actually happening within me right now?
Psychologically, this moment of returning to oneself is powerful.
When we ground ourselves—through reflection, prayer, breath, therapy, or simply stillness—we help regulate our nervous system. The mind shifts from constant threat detection to a state in which clarity, reflection, and emotional integration become possible. Instead of reacting from old survival patterns, we begin responding with intention.
In many ways, grounding restores something we often forget we have: agency.
The world can feel chaotic, whether globally or within the small corner of our homes. If we are not grounded, we can easily be pulled into that chaos—emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
But when we come back to ourselves, something changes.
The chaos may still exist, but it no longer dictates who we are.
True healing and authentic living emerge when we have taken the time to return inward, to reconnect with the parts of ourselves that were buried beneath survival.
And from that place, we begin to live not from our wounds—but from our awareness.
Reflection
Where in your life do you notice yourself reacting to the chaos around you?
And where might healing begin if you simply returned to yourself?
Sometimes the most profound step forward is not escaping the world.
It is remembering who you are within it.
Listen to the full episode here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4llybuJhJWyXjBuBfMzBRR?si=lnEQojnKSbe4-ZD7dVRrLw
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