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Balancing Family and Purpose

In last week's episode of EZ Conversations, I was grateful to speak with Tamar Blue (Listen Here) and hear her incredible story of building Mental Happy, a telehealth platform that helps experts and health providers create support groups. This platform allows more individuals to access support more readily and cost-effectively. Tamar shares her journey of starting peer support groups early in life, struggling with mental health and becoming an entrepreneur. Tamar also inspires other women because she balances her work with being a mother and prioritizing her family. What I learned from Tamar's story is that we can pursue our dreams and serve our communities while also being present for our families, something we often tend to overlook.

As I reflected on the episode with Tamar, I thought about how we often tend to think in black and white, in all-or-nothing terms, in polarities, which leads to problems we see in the world today. Does work need to consume our lives? If we choose our purpose in life, does it mean we need to forego a family? Can women have one or the other? So many questions and so much complexity. But it does not need to be one or the other. As Tamar shares in the episode, she runs her business, but sometimes has to leave meetings to be a mother to her child. We can live a life of purpose and have a family too; I would argue that the two go hand in hand. Having a family keeps us grounded when adversity comes; we can give more to our families when our purpose drives us. Therefore, in this week's edition of EZ Reflections, I wanted to expand on balancing purpose and our families and rising above hedonism which has crippled so many people.

The Myth of Purpose vs. Family

A growing narrative, especially among younger generations, suggests that relationships and children compete with career success. This tension is not entirely imagined—balancing work, ambition, and family responsibilities is hard. However, the belief that one must choose between purpose and family reflects a limited view of both.

Psychologist Roy Baumeister and colleagues (2013) distinguish between happiness and meaningfulness. They found that while happiness is often associated with receiving, meaningfulness is tied to giving, especially in relationships. Parenthood, though challenging, consistently ranks as one of the most meaningful life roles, even if it lowers short-term happiness. In other words, family doesn’t detract from purpose; it is one of the most profound forms of it.

How Family Grounds Purpose

Having a family often reorients our purpose toward something larger than ourselves. Research by McAdams and Guo (2015) on “generative adults”—those who invest in nurturing the next generation—shows that individuals who prioritize family and mentorship tend to experience higher life satisfaction and stronger identities.

Moreover, family life offers emotional regulation and psychological anchoring. A 75-year longitudinal study from Harvard (Waldinger & Schulz, 2023) revealed that close relationships, especially familial ones, are the strongest predictors of long-term health and happiness, more than money, fame, or career achievement.

A New Vision of Success

True success integrates inner fulfillment and outer achievement. In an era of burnout and disconnection, families offer a rhythm and relational depth that professional life alone rarely sustains. Children, partners, and extended kin remind us of who we are beyond our roles and titles. They call us to patience, empathy, service—qualities that elevate not only personal growth but professional leadership (Greenhaus & Powell, 2006).

Rather than viewing family as a detour from one’s calling, we might consider it a deepening of that calling—an opportunity to build a legacy not just through what we create, but through who we raise and how we love.

References

• Baumeister, R. F., Vohs, K. D., Aaker, J. L., & Garbinsky, E. N. (2013). Some key differences between a happy life and a meaningful life. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 8(6), 505–516. https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2013.830764

• Greenhaus, J. H., & Powell, G. N. (2006). When work and family are allies: A theory of work-family enrichment. Academy of Management Review, 31(1), 72–92. https://doi.org/10.5465/amr.2006.19379625

• McAdams, D. P., & Guo, J. (2015). Narrating the generative life. Psychological Science, 26(4), 475–483. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797614568318

• Waldinger, R., & Schulz, M. (2023). The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. Simon & Schuster.
  

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