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Do You Speak the Truth?

In last week's episode of EZ Conversations, I had a profound and exploratory conversation with Julian Raven (Listen Here). We discussed Julian's journey to faith, which started with asking questions while he was engaged in hedonistic pursuits. Why would one have such questions when instant gratification is at our fingertips? Better yet, are we asking the questions, or are we being questioned? As Julian and I discussed throughout the episode, the version of the truth he came to understand through faith became his North Star and allowed him to remain steadfast in his fight for free speech as he embarked on a long battle with an institution. The journey was not easy—marked by doubt, exhaustion, and the very human temptation to give up—yet in his weakest moments, he felt the same pull that first led him to seek answers.

As I reflected on my personal journey of grappling with the truth, I confronted the purpose of the truth and the difficult challenge of remaining patient when we cannot yet see the light at the end of the tunnel—when giving up would be easy and few would blame us. But what separates truth from the alternative? As I mentioned in the episode with Julian, I have spent a significant amount of time contemplating what the truth is, because it is so complicated. People have their own version of the truth and act on it, which can then clash with other people's versions of the truth. However, the conclusion I have come to is that the one truth we cannot deny is love. The cynic may argue that love can also lead people to do heinous acts, which may be true, but then I would question the object of their “truth,” which often looks more like the whims of instant gratification. As Julian shares, that illusion only shattered when he came to faith.

There’s also a psychological case for truth-telling. Living honestly reduces the internal friction that comes from saying or doing what we don’t actually endorse—a state Festinger called cognitive dissonance—which is reliably linked to stress and impaired mood (Festinger, 1957). Conversely, acting in line with our values supports basic psychological needs like autonomy and integrity, which boosts well-being (Deci & Ryan, 2000). Research on authenticity finds that people who feel able to be their “true selves” report less anxiety and depression and greater life satisfaction (Kernis & Goldman, 2006; Wood et al., 2008). Suppressing or concealing significant truths—especially around painful experiences—exacts a physiological toll; decades of expressive-writing studies show that putting our true story into words can improve mental and physical health markers (Pennebaker & Beall, 1986; Smyth, 1998; Frattaroli, 2006). Even everyday honesty matters: when people deliberately told fewer lies for several weeks, they reported fewer physical symptoms and less tension (Kelly et al., 2013). And the burden of secrecy itself—simply holding a secret in mind—predicts lower well-being and more rumination (Slepian et al., 2017). In short, speaking the truth is not merely a moral or spiritual ideal; it’s a psychologically regulating act that aligns identity, reduces stress, and makes room for love to do its clarifying work.

References

• Baikie, K. A., & Wilhelm, K. (2005). Emotional and physical health benefits of expressive writing. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 11(5), 338–346. https://doi.org/10.1192/apt.11.5.338

• Festinger, L. (1957). A theory of cognitive dissonance. Stanford University Press.

• Kelly, A. E., & Wang, L. (2012). Telling fewer lies improves health: The “Science of Honesty” project. Paper presented at the Annual Meeting of the American Psychological Association, Orlando, FL. PDF summary

• Kernis, M. H., & Goldman, B. M. (2006). A multicomponent conceptualization of authenticity: Theory and research. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 283–357. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0065-2601(06)38006-9

• Pavlacic, J. M., Buchanan, E. M., Maxwell, N. P., Hopke, T. G., & Schulenberg, S. E. (2019). A meta-analysis of expressive writing on posttraumatic stress, depression, anxiety, and resilience. Review of General Psychology, 23(2), 230–250. https://doi.org/10.1177/1089268019831645

• Pennebaker, J. W., & Beall, S. K. (1986). Confronting a traumatic event: Toward an understanding of inhibition and disease. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 95(3), 274–281. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.95.3.274

• Slepian, M. L., Chun, J. S., & Mason, M. F. (2017). The experience of secrecy. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 113(1), 1–33. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000085

• Smyth, J. M. (1998). Written emotional expression: Effect sizes, outcome types, and moderating variables. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 66(1), 174–184. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.66.1.174

• Wood, A. M., Linley, P. A., Maltby, J., Baliousis, M., & Joseph, S. (2008). The authentic personality: A theoretical and empirical conceptualization and the development of the Authenticity Scale. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 55(3), 385–399. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-0167.55.3.385
  

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