Facing Monsters But Not Becoming One

In last week's episode of EZ Conversations, I had the opportunity to sit down with an individual who calls himself Aidan Gabor (Listen Here). We talked about his story of being in a gang, being an undercover informant, struggling with depression, and then turning to spirituality and a Higher Power. Aidan could not disclose his real name and did not turn on the video due to his safety. However, despite the risk, Aidan shares his story of navigating all the complexities of being around people with questionable character and himself engaging in crime but still finding solace through his spiritual connection. Aidan also shared that he is an individual who lacks empathy, and we also talked about the possibility of intergenerational trauma from his parents being exposed to the Second World War impacting him. Through it all, Aidan wants people to understand that no matter how deep you go into the abyss, you can find your way back, and it starts with acceptance and feeling the power of Unity.

As I reflected on Aidan's story and navigated my struggles throughout the week, I started to recognize further that we all can become monsters because of what life throws at us. I grappled with the same concept when I watched the new Joker movie a couple of weeks ago: life can be cruel, and we can let the actions of others poison us, or we can rise above it and continue to have a positive influence. Ultimately, it is walking on that edge that not only shifts our perspective but also allows for significant growth. For the same reason, I love martial arts because it will enable me to navigate the edge and choose discipline and humility over not abusing my skills. Yet, we live in a world where people do not learn how to harness that power and let their infantile tendencies dictate their choices. Therefore, in this week's edition of EZ Reflections, I wanted to share how we can explore these monstrous capacities within us which is something Fredrich Nietzsche forewarned, and be aware of the "shadow" in the words of Carl Jung and keep them at bay for personal growth and development.

1. Self-Reflection and Awareness

The first step to preventing the internalization of destructive behaviours is cultivating self-awareness. Nietzsche's warning encourages us to question our motives and actions regularly. When facing adversaries—whether external conflicts or personal challenges—it's essential to reflect on the impact these struggles have on our own values and character.

Practical Tip: Set aside time for self-reflection. Journaling or meditation can help you stay grounded, offering space to evaluate whether you are staying true to your principles, especially in challenging situations. Regular check-ins with yourself can prevent the unconscious adoption of harmful behaviours.

2. Maintaining Integrity

As Nietzsche suggests, confronting something negative can sometimes warp our own ethical compass. When we are in positions of power or authority, or even when we are simply defending ourselves, the temptation to adopt the same methods as our opposition—manipulation, force, or deception—can be strong.

Practical Tip: Establish personal boundaries and a code of ethics. Write down the principles that guide your behaviour and revisit them often to ensure your actions align with your core values, even under pressure. If you find yourself compromising your integrity, pause and reconsider the broader implications of your decisions.

3. Balancing Justice with Compassion

In fighting against injustice, we may sometimes lose our sense of empathy and compassion, becoming overly focused on retribution. Nietzsche’s warning can be seen as a call to retain our humanity, even in the face of conflict. Instead of becoming consumed by the desire to "win" or exact revenge, we should act compassionately, even toward those who have wronged us.

Practical Tip: Cultivate empathy by considering the humanity of others, even adversaries. Practice active listening and try to understand the perspective of those you oppose, which can help you avoid dehumanizing them.

4. Avoiding the Pitfalls of Power

One of the central themes in Nietzsche’s philosophy is the critique of power and how easily it corrupts. His warning about becoming a monster reminds us that pursuing power can transform individuals, making them less empathetic and more ruthless. Even when power is used for good, its potential to become destructive remains.

Practical Tip: Remember how power dynamics influence your decisions and relationships. Leadership, influence, or any position of authority should be approached with humility. Check-in with trusted friends or colleagues to ensure your actions remain fair and grounded.

5. Embracing the Shadow

Finally, Nietzsche’s caution against becoming a monster aligns with Carl Jung’s idea of the "shadow" (which we discussed earlier). Jung warned that ignoring or denying the darker aspects of our personality can lead to destructive behaviours. By acknowledging and integrating our shadow—our anger, fear, or ambition—we can better manage it.

Practical Tip: Engage in shadow work by acknowledging and understanding your darker impulses. By bringing these elements into consciousness, you can avoid being unconsciously driven by them. This reduces the likelihood of becoming the "monster" Nietzsche warned against.

References:

• Nietzsche, Friedrich. Beyond Good and Evil.

• Kabat-Zinn, Jon. Mindfulness for Beginners.

• Covey, Stephen. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

• Brown, Brené. Daring Greatly.

• Tutu, Desmond, and Tutu, Mpho. The Book of Forgiving.

• Gilbert, Paul. The Compassionate Mind.

• Johnson, Robert A. Owning Your Own Shadow.

• Jung, Carl. Man and His Symbols.
  

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