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Forgiveness: The Pathway to Liberation

Last week, on the EZ Conversations podcast, I explored the topic of forgiveness with guest Dara McKinley (Listen Here). Dara shares her journey of finding inner peace through letting go and forgiveness; however, as we discussed during the episode, forgiveness is not simple but a trying process. Reflecting on the episode and my discussion with Dara, I realized forgiveness is an ongoing process requiring constant work. But it is through the act of forgiveness that we can find liberation, no longer bound by the chains of the past. It is a simple shift of looking at whatever happened for us. Although it may seem easy to express, it is a difficult perspective shift, as many people can attest.

Why do we then get stuck with the inability to forgive? There is a misconception that by forgiving, we may be condoning the actions of others; however, as I have stated before, forgiveness is for ourselves only. Through forgiveness, we no longer stay in a lowered energy state and operate from victimhood. We decide to step into empowerment and move forward. Often, that looks like forgiving ourselves, especially if we are stuck in shame. In shame, we create this narrative that either we deserve whatever happened or are not worthy of good things happening to us. Therefore, most of us then remain in a state of apathy, unable to find our way out. In this week's edition of EZ Reflections, I wanted to expand on forgiveness and how we can find freedom.

The Liberating Benefits of Forgiveness

Embracing forgiveness offers numerous psychological and physical health advantages:

• Improved Mental Health: Forgiveness is associated with lower levels of depression, anxiety, and hostility. It also contributes to higher self-esteem and greater life satisfaction.

• Enhanced Physical Health: Studies have found that forgiveness can reap enormous rewards for one's health, lowering the risk of heart attack, improving cholesterol levels and sleep, and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression, and stress.

• Better Relationships: When appropriate, forgiveness can lead to restored relationships, which bring happiness, satisfaction, and social support. Evidence also links forgiveness to better health.

Pathways to Forgiveness

While the journey to forgiveness is personal and complex, specific strategies can facilitate the process:

• Acknowledge Your Emotions: Begin by validating your feelings without judgment. Recognize the pain and understand its impact on you.

• Empathy and Perspective-Taking: Attempt to see the situation from the offender's point of view. This doesn't justify their actions but can provide context and reduce resentment.

• Set Boundaries: Forgiveness doesn't mean tolerating harmful behaviour. Establish clear boundaries to protect yourself while letting go of grudges.

• Seek Professional Help: Therapists can offer guidance and support, helping you navigate the complex emotions associated with forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. By releasing the hold of past hurts, you can achieve emotional freedom, improved health, and enriched relationships.

References

1. Greater Good Science Center, University of California, Berkeley. (n.d.). Overcoming barriers to forgiveness. Retrieved from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/overcome_barriers_forgiveness

2. Greater Good Science Center, University of California, Berkeley. (n.d.). The new science of forgiveness. Retrieved from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_new_science_of_forgiveness

3. Harvard Health Publishing. (2019). The power of forgiveness. Retrieved from https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/the-power-of-forgiveness

4. Michigan State University Extension. (2018). Benefits and barriers of forgiveness. Retrieved from https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/benefits-and-barriers-of-forgiveness

5. Dr. Lynn Margolies. (n.d.). Barriers to true forgiveness. Retrieved from https://www.drlynnmargolies.com/barriers-to-true-forgiveness-a.htm

6. American Psychological Association. (2017). The psychology of forgiveness. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/01/ce-corner

7. Johns Hopkins Medicine. (n.d.). Forgiveness: Your health depends on it. Retrieved from https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it
   

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