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Immersed in Self-Belief: Learning to Trust What Emerges in Silence
In last week's episode of EZ Conversations, I had a great discussion with Jeremy "Falcon" Stephan (Listen Here). We talked about his exploration of free diving, given his familiarity with water and his competitive swimming background. Jeremy shared his experience of his first immersion—the belief and trust he had to surrender into the water—and how that moment opened him to awe and raw emotion. There was something profoundly human in what Jeremy shared. His story wasn’t just about pushing physical limits, but about meeting himself in stillness, vulnerability, and presence.
Alongside free diving, Jeremy also spoke about how he has integrated his trauma, and how he has now embodied the name Falcon—not as an escape from his past, but as a way to hold space for the experiences he carried as a child while honouring the gifts those experiences ultimately revealed. His integrated self, which continues to evolve, holds greater awareness, depth, and compassion—not only for himself, but for others as well. At the end of the episode, Jeremy offered a simple yet powerful gift, based on something once reflected to him: we can choose to see each day as a ceremony—something sacred and meaningful—regardless of what it holds.
As I reflected on my conversation with Jeremy, the theme of trusting oneself kept resurfacing. As the year winds down, I enter my own quiet ceremony of reflection—taking stock of what the year has given me, both the gifts and the lessons disguised as difficulty. I ask myself what can be carried forward and what needs to be released. In my therapeutic work and group sessions, I’ve also noticed a recurring struggle: many of us no longer trust our inner wisdom—the quiet voice that guides us and knows what we need.
Through lived experiences, conditioning, and at times trauma, we learn to silence that voice and instead seek permission from the outside world. We outsource our intuition. We defer to expectations, roles, and approval, often believing others know better than we do. As I reflected more deeply, I realized that for the first 35 years of my life, I was living primarily for others—mostly my parents. Learning to live for myself has been one of the greatest gifts of my life, and I now try to help others discover it for themselves.
Many people struggle with being alone. Solitude can feel uncomfortable, even threatening. Yet it is in solitude that the inner voice becomes audible. It is there that we encounter the discomfort we must move through—not avoid—if we want to grow. Unfortunately, we live in a world saturated with distractions. Noise fills every quiet moment, robbing us of the opportunity to listen to what is emerging beneath the surface.
Psychological research supports what many wisdom traditions have long understood. Solitude, when chosen intentionally, strengthens emotional regulation, self-concept clarity, and psychological well-being. Studies show that time spent alone can increase self-reflection and autonomy, allowing individuals to reconnect with intrinsic values rather than external validation (Long & Averill, 2003). Similarly, research on self-trust and intuition suggests that people who are more attuned to internal signals—such as bodily sensations and emotions—demonstrate better decision-making and resilience (Mehling et al., 2012).
Neuroscience also offers insight here. Periods of quiet and reduced stimulation allow the default mode network (DMN) to activate—an internal system associated with meaning-making, autobiographical reflection, and identity integration. When we constantly distract ourselves, we interrupt this process. We never fully hear ourselves. Over time, that disconnection erodes confidence and self-trust, replacing it with anxiety and doubt.
Even practices that mirror Jeremy’s experience—such as immersion, breathwork, and mindful exposure to silence—have been shown to increase interoceptive awareness, our ability to sense and interpret internal states. This awareness is foundational to emotional intelligence and self-belief. Trust, it turns out, is not something we manufacture. It is something we remember when we slow down enough to listen.
This may be what free diving teaches us. Beneath the surface, noise disappears. There is no room for performance—only presence. And maybe that is the invitation Jeremy leaves us with: to create moments of depth in our own lives, to treat each day as a ceremony, and to trust what emerges when we are willing to sit in stillness.
Sometimes, the most important work we do isn’t striving forward—but listening inward.
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