The Pervasiveness of Entitlement

In last week's episode of EZ Conversations, I had the pleasure of hosting Rodger Friedman (Listen Here), and we discussed the many issues the United States faces, especially with the upcoming election. Furthermore, we agreed that many issues are becoming a part of the Western world, including Canada. Among the many things, we focused our discussion on polarization and entitlement. While polarization and the divisiveness we experience have been the subject of another reflection I did previously; I spent more time focusing on the sense of entitlement that has become pervasive. Entitlement is not limited to just opportunities and material wealth. I would argue that we all feel entitled in our ways; for example, something as simple as the entitlement we feel when the wifi does not work, or our Amazon order does not arrive as scheduled. How does our entitlement impact our mental health? The problem is that entitlement shapes our expectations of situations, people, and the world around us. As we all know, expectations can disconnect us from the present moment and ourselves.

Another consequence of entitlement is the lack of resilience one can experience, especially if one expects to be given something. This can be further compounded in the real world when one experiences failure or rejection, which are all part of reality. In the therapeutic world, I have observed that individuals who are resilient have the capability of navigating situations that trigger negative emotions. However, in many instances, resilience needs to be cultivated earlier in life. That is not to say that one cannot become resilient in their adult life, but one needs to build resiliency over time, and feeling entitled can limit that growth. Therefore, in this week's edition of EZ Reflections, I wanted to explore the impact of entitlement in our lives and how it affects society.

In today’s culture, entitlement has become a growing concern. It is often defined as the belief that one deserves special treatment, privileges, or rewards without necessarily earning them. Whether it manifests in the workplace, relationships, or personal expectations, entitlement can have far-reaching effects on an individual’s ability to build resilience, a critical factor in navigating life’s inevitable challenges.

The Psychology of Entitlement

Entitlement is rooted in the psychological concept of narcissism, but it doesn’t always manifest as the extreme version we typically associate with the term. Research indicates that entitlement is often connected with a sense of self-importance and exaggerated expectations from the world. This mindset fosters unrealistic demands and a lack of appreciation for effort and perseverance.

One prominent theory, Social Exchange Theory, suggests that entitled individuals are more likely to feel dissatisfied when they perceive an imbalance between what they give and receive, regardless of the objective reality of that exchange. This imbalance perpetuates a vicious cycle of disappointment and frustration, preventing individuals from developing emotional resilience when faced with setbacks.

How Entitlement Undermines Resilience

Resilience refers to the capacity to recover from difficulties, adapt to change, and keep pushing forward despite obstacles. A sense of entitlement can severely erode this ability in several key ways:

1. Lack of Accountability: Entitled individuals often externalize blame, refusing to accept personal responsibility for their circumstances. According to research from the University of Michigan, individuals with higher entitlement scores are more likely to blame external factors when things go wrong rather than reflect on their own actions and learn from mistakes. This avoidance of accountability prevents the development of problem-solving skills, which are critical to resilience.

2. Low Frustration Tolerance: People who feel entitled tend to have a low tolerance for frustration and setbacks, as they expect smooth outcomes. A 2017 study published in Personality and Individual Differences found that individuals with a heightened sense of entitlement are more prone to anger and frustration when their demands are unmet. This diminished capacity to tolerate discomfort means they are less likely to build the emotional stamina necessary to overcome challenges.

3. Dependency on External Validation: Entitlement often strongly depends on external validation. Instead of building internal resources such as self-confidence and emotional regulation, these individuals rely on others to reinforce their sense of worth. When this external validation is absent, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and helplessness. Research by Zitek and Jordan (2016) illustrates that people with high levels of entitlement experience chronic dissatisfaction because they expect more than others can give them, damaging their mental health and reducing their resilience.

4. Avoidance of Effort: The mindset that success should come quickly or be handed to them without effort often results in entitled individuals failing to engage in hard work or perseverance. A 2020 study found that those with a sense of entitlement tend to give up more quickly in the face of difficulty, as they believe their worth alone should carry them through. This avoidance of effort further stunts the development of resilience, which is built through perseverance and determination.

Long-Term Implications of Entitlement

The impact of entitlement extends beyond day-to-day frustrations. Over time, it can lead to chronic dissatisfaction with life, damaged relationships, and reduced mental well-being. Researchers at the University of California, Berkeley, have found that entitlement is detrimental to personal well-being and can result in long-term stress and burnout. This is because entitled individuals frequently conflict with reality, expecting more than they receive and becoming emotionally worn down when those expectations are unmet.

Moreover, a lack of resilience means that people with entitled attitudes struggle to cope with adversity, be it in their careers, personal lives, or social environments. They are more likely to view life’s challenges as unfair than growth opportunities, leading to a sense of victimhood and learned helplessness.

Building Resilience: Moving Beyond Entitlement

To foster resilience, it is essential to counter the mindset of entitlement with strategies that promote personal responsibility and adaptability:

1. Cultivate Gratitude: Gratitude can reduce feelings of entitlement by shifting focus from what is lacking to what is present. Studies have shown gratitude enhances psychological well-being and fosters a more resilient mindset. Individuals who regularly reflect on what they are grateful for tend to build more substantial emotional reserves, which helps them bounce back from setbacks.

2. Develop a Growth Mindset: Shifting from a fixed to a growth mindset involves recognizing that abilities and success are the results of effort and learning, not entitlement or inherent worth. Research by Carol Dweck emphasizes that people with a growth mindset are more likely to persist through difficulties and view failure as an opportunity for improvement rather than a personal affront.

3. Embrace Accountability: A critical element of resilience is taking responsibility for one’s actions and consequences. Accepting accountability fosters growth and learning. Studies show that individuals who reflect on their mistakes and take corrective actions are better equipped to handle future challenges.

4. Increase Frustration Tolerance: Learning to tolerate discomfort and disappointment is essential for resilience. Entitled individuals can benefit from therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which helps them reframe negative thoughts and build tolerance for setbacks.

References:

1. Personality and Social Psychology Review - "The role of narcissism in entitlement."

2. Social Exchange Theory - "Perceived imbalance in relationships and its psychological consequences."

3. University of Michigan Study - "Entitlement and blame externalization."

4. Personality and Individual Differences (2017) - "Entitlement and low frustration tolerance."

5. Zitek, E. M., & Jordan, A. H. (2016). "The Impact of Entitlement on Dissatisfaction."

6. Journal of Applied Psychology (2020) - "Entitlement and effort-avoidance."

7. University of California, Berkeley - "Entitlement and long-term stress."

8. Journal of Positive Psychology - "The benefits of practicing gratitude."

9. Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.

10. Journal of Organizational Behavior - "Accountability and resilience."

11. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) research - "Building tolerance for setbacks and cognitive restructuring."

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