In partnership with

To be a Lighthouse for Others

In last week's episode of EZ Conversations, I had the opportunity to host, Paul Doughty (Listen Here), and we explored his childhood journey of trauma in his familial home and how he used alcohol as an escape. But through a turn of events which resulted in a connection with a Higher Power, Paul was able to let go of alcohol and chart a new path in his recovery. Now, Paul speaks with young adolescents and teaches them the importance of resilience. I reflected on Paul's story, navigated personal challenges, and considered why some people can find meaning through challenges. In contrast, others can't; what stood out to me was this ability to serve and be a lighthouse for others that can also help weather the storms that life will throw at us, and the skills we build can then be shared with others.

Resilience also requires us to continue to turn inward and remain grounded. Otherwise, we tend to take things personally and limit our personal growth. To stay committed to serving others is not easy, nor is it always clear what the answer may be, where imposter syndrome creeps in so often. Any practice that allows one to connect with the self and continue on a path of humility while remaining open enables growth. Therefore, in this week's edition of EZ Reflections, I wanted to explore how the service of others can help us foster resilience.

The Science Behind Helping Others and Resilience

Psychological studies consistently highlight the link between prosocial behaviour and resilience. A 2013 study published in the American Journal of Public Health found that individuals who engaged in helping behaviours, such as volunteering or mentorship, experienced lower stress levels and increased psychological well-being. This is partly due to the release of oxytocin and endorphins, which enhance mood and foster emotional balance. Additionally, helping others provides a sense of purpose, which research shows is a key component of mental resilience (Van Tongeren et al., 2016).

Further evidence comes from a longitudinal study by Schwartz et al. (2003), which found that people who supported others, especially during difficult times, experienced reduced symptoms of depression and a greater sense of fulfillment. Guiding others also reinforces cognitive reframing—shifting our mindset to view obstacles as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable setbacks.

How Guiding Others Strengthens Personal Resilience

1. Shifting Perspective on Adversity When we help someone navigate their struggles, we naturally adopt a broader perspective, which can change how we view our hardships. By advising others, we reinforce problem-solving skills that can be applied to our lives, ultimately making us more adaptable under challenging situations.

2. Developing Emotional Regulation Supporting others requires patience, empathy, and emotional regulation. Engaging in these acts repeatedly strengthens our ability to manage stress, anxiety, and frustration. This is particularly evident in therapists, coaches, and leaders who report higher emotional resilience due to their work in helping others (Jennings & Greenberg, 2009).

3. Creating a Sense of Purpose Studies show that individuals with a strong sense of purpose are more resilient to stress and adversity (Ryff, 2014). Guiding others fosters a deep understanding of meaning, which can act as a buffer against life's challenges. This is especially true for those who have faced significant trauma and use their experiences to help others in similar situations.

4. Building a Support Network Offering guidance and support fosters strong social connections, which is crucial for resilience. The Harvard Study of Adult Development found that individuals with close, supportive relationships live longer, experience lower stress levels, and report higher life satisfaction (Waldinger & Schulz, 2010). When we guide others, we also build reciprocal relationships that provide us with emotional support when we need it most.

Practical Ways to Become a Guide and Cultivate Resilience

• Mentorship: Mentoring someone, whether professionally or personally, allows you to reflect on your journey while offering valuable insights to others.

• Volunteering: Engaging in community service or peer support groups fosters resilience by providing a sense of contribution and connectedness.

• Teaching and Coaching: Sharing knowledge and skills helps others and reinforces one's learning and problem-solving abilities.

• Active Listening & Emotional Support: Sometimes, simply being there for others and offering a compassionate ear strengthens their resilience and our own.

References

• Jennings, P. A., & Greenberg, M. T. (2009). The prosocial classroom: Teacher social and emotional competence in relation to student and classroom outcomes. Review of Educational Research, 79(1), 491-525.

• Ryff, C. D. (2014). Psychological well-being revisited: Advances in the science and practice of eudaimonia. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 83(1), 10-28.

• Schwartz, C. E., Keyl, P. M., Marcum, J. P., & Bode, R. (2003). Helping others shows a positive association with the well-being of older adults: The case of the disabled veteran volunteers. Journal of Aging and Health, 15(3), 432-448.

• Van Tongeren, D. R., Green, J. D., Davis, D. E., Worthington, E. L., & Reid, C. A. (2016). The meaning of forgiveness: Evidence for a bidirectional model of forgivingness and psychological well-being. Journal of Positive Psychology, 11(6), 576-587.

• Waldinger, R. J., & Schulz, M. S. (2010). The long reach of nurturing family environments: Links with adult well-being. American Journal of Psychiatry, 167(2), 162-169.
  

A snippet of the Episode

Head to YouTube for the full episode. Or Subscribe below:

What people are saying about the podcast:

Quote of the Week:

Sponsors

Daily Brain Care:⁠ Use code: EZ at checkout for 10% OFF

Key Benefits of Daily Brain Care

Daily Brain Care is safe to take with any prescription, over-the-counter medication, or other dietary supplement, and you should not expect a serious adverse interaction or reaction.  It may also:

• increase the production of adult stem cells

• enhance cognitive function

• optimize immune function

• help the body to eliminate heavy metals and other toxins

• support overall well-being and quality of life

Would you like to work with me?

Book a 1:1 Call with me! I am taking on new clients in April and offering a free consultation.

Subscribe to the Podcast and Newsletter

The Daily Newsletter for Intellectually Curious Readers

If you're frustrated by one-sided reporting, our 5-minute newsletter is the missing piece. We sift through 100+ sources to bring you comprehensive, unbiased news—free from political agendas. Stay informed with factual coverage on the topics that matter.

Join for free today!