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Why Necessity is the Mother of Invention: The Problems Worth Solving

In last week's episode of EZ Conversations, I had an incredible conversation with Dr. Nigel Brayer (Listen Here) where we explored his inspiring pursuit of helping people improve bladder health. What began as a personal mission to support his wife through her incontinence challenges evolved into a much larger journey of service to others. As we dove deeper, Dr. Brayer shed light on the intimate connection between the nervous system and bladder health, emphasizing how chronic stress—often simmering beneath our awareness—can silently impact bodily systems we barely understand.

We also reflected on a broader existential concern: how many of us live in fear of death, and in doing so, we paradoxically begin to fear life itself. That notion stuck with me. The very act of confronting our struggles—our "monsters"—can ignite solutions not just for ourselves, but for others walking a similar path. This is the alchemy of necessity: it transforms suffering into service.

From Personal Struggles to Collective Solutions

As I reflected on my conversation with Dr. Brayer, I was reminded of how many of the pivotal decisions in my life were made from a place of necessity. Choosing a better life through divorce, seeking support for my mental health, and facing the legal trenches of family law have been some of the most challenging chapters of my journey. Yet, in each of these moments, I wasn’t just finding solutions for myself—I was forging a map for others who would later walk these same roads.

In my therapeutic work, I now witness this pattern regularly. When clients begin to solve their internal struggles—whether it's unresolved trauma, emotional dysregulation, or existential uncertainty—they often emerge with a desire to help others. Necessity, then, is not only the mother of invention; it is also the midwife of meaning.

The Psychological Value of Problem Solving

Solving problems is not just a practical act; it has a profound psychological impact. Research in cognitive psychology shows that solving meaningful problems activates reward pathways in the brain, enhancing motivation, resilience, and self-worth (Baumeister & Vohs, 2016). This sense of purpose serves as a powerful buffer against anxiety and depression.

Moreover, self-determination theory (Deci & Ryan, 2000) emphasizes the role of competence, autonomy, and relatedness in psychological well-being. When individuals take ownership of their struggles and find creative ways to resolve them, they enhance all three pillars. They feel more competent, more self-directed, and often more connected to others who benefit from their solutions.

Neuroscientific research further supports this. Dopamine, the neurotransmitter associated with reward and motivation, is released not just when we achieve a goal—but also when we pursue one, especially in service of a greater good (Schultz, 2016). In other words, problem-solving in the face of necessity doesn’t just help us survive; it helps us thrive.

Solving the Right Problems

Of course, not every problem is worth solving—at least not by us. Part of growth is discerning which problems carry meaning and which ones are distractions. In therapy, I often remind clients that the quality of our lives is usually shaped by the quality of the problems we choose to face. Solving a problem that aligns with your values and lived experience can provide purpose far beyond the solution itself.

Dr. Brayer didn’t set out to become a pioneer in bladder health. But necessity called him to respond to the suffering of someone he loved. That response—rooted in care, discomfort, and uncertainty—has now blossomed into a mission that helps countless others.

A Blueprint for Others

Each time we solve an intensely personal problem, we create a blueprint for others to follow. Whether it’s navigating mental health challenges, advocating for justice in the legal system, or improving a relationship, our lived experiences become a lantern for others lost in the dark.

So ask yourself: What problem in your life has been calling out to you—not just for resolution, but for transformation? What struggle have you endured that might now serve as your gift to the world?

Because sometimes, the problems we’re trying to solve are not simply barriers—they’re invitations to become who we were always meant to be.

References

Baumeister, R. F., & Vohs, K. D. (2016). Handbook of Self-Regulation: Research, Theory, and Applications (3rd ed.). New York: The Guilford Press.

Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The "What" and "Why" of Goal Pursuits: Human Needs and the Self-Determination of Behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227–268. https://doi.org/10.1207/S15327965PLI1104_01

Schultz, W. (2016). Dopamine reward prediction-error signalling: a two-component response. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 17(3), 183–195. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn.2015.26

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